Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Family Update

I want to give a brief update about where my family and I are at right now. The following is an excerpt from our family newsletter that was published just the other day. It includes an update, but now pictures. Hopefully, with the help of my better half (she's actually more like 3/4), we'll figure out how to post some pictures of Caden, a few with Caden and us, and then some with Caden and other people. Here we go!

I have come to realize that we are in a period in the history of the world unlike any other: the Computer World. In fact, this world even has its own language, just like Japan, the difference between Japan and the Computer World, though, is that if you hang around in Japan long enough, you eventually start to understand what everyone is talking about; whereas the language used in the computer world is specifically designed to prevent this from happening. Nevertheless, there are certain basic computer terms that you need to try to familiarize yourself with, so that when you go to purchase a "laptop" or "PC", you don't sound like some random putz. Instead, you'll sound like a specific putz who memorized some terms out of a book.

Hardware: this is the part of the computer that stops working when your 18-month old climbs up the chair and mashes the keyboard several times.

Software: the function of the software is to give instructions to the CPU, which is a set of three initials inside the computer that rapidly processes billions of tiny facts, called "bytes", and within a fraction of a second sends you an "error message" that requires you to call the "technical support hotline", which is located on the planet "Gazombo". Software is usually accompanied by "documentation" in the form of big fat scary "manuals" that nobody ever reads. In fact, for the past eight years most of the "manuals" shipped with software products have actually been copies of Stephen King's The Stand with new covers pasted on.

Megahertz: this is really, really big hertz.

RAM: this is a shorthand way of referring to ROM. The unit of measurement for RAM is the MEG, which stands for "a certain amount of RAM." The function of RAM is to give guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest, most bloated "memory". This is important, because with today's complex software, the more memory a computer has the faster it can produce "error messages". So the bottom line is, if you're a guy, you cannot have enough RAM. "Bill Gates" currently has over 743 billion "megs" of RAM.

You should use the preceding terms whenever you have to "interface" with computer experts. For example, when you go to purchase your "laptop", you want to use as many of these terms a possible, so the store personnel will realize that they're dealing with a person who has a high level of technical expertise (and free time). Once you get the computer home, of course, you no longer need to use technical terms. But you will want to familiarize yourself with the following:
"Uh-oh."
"What the devil happened to my PAPER?!"
"I have to turn it in tomorrow!"
(Pounding on the keyboard) "GIVE ME BACK MY PAPER OR I'M GOING TO THROW YOUR LITTLE FRIEND THE PRINTER OUT THE WINDOW!"

Good luck on your journey through this bright day and age!

Our little family is getting a little bigger and doing very well. Ai officially graduated from BYU with a Master's degree in International Development with an emphasis in Education. She is thrilled to be done, because she gets to spend all day with the almost-18-month old Caden. Caden Matthew is a little ball of energy that picks up new words everyday. He loves being outside and can't get enough of "Elmo's World" (even though Mommy has had enough). Ai is getting bigger and bigger (in all the right places) as our baby girl prepares to make her entrance into our family. We're thinking about naming her Maya. If there are any problems or concerns with this name, please let us know before January 25, 2008. I'm still working on my undergraduate degree at BYU in Humanities with an emphasis in Music. On top of my course work, he have been accepted into the CES pre-service training for Seminary teaching. There is
a chance (if I do well and the Lord wants it) that I could be hired by CES to teach Seminary full-time by Spring of 2009. We're praying for it and I've wanted to do this since I was a teenager.
We are lucky to be ward missionaries and are enjoying our BYU ward. Music continues to be a big part of our everyday lives because we believe that anything that entices someone to love God and to serve Him is from God. We also are finding a great deal of joy in following President Eyring's recent counsel to look for and recognize the Lord's hand daily and keep a record of it for our children by recommitting to track experiences in our journals and this web log.


Well, that's the update. Ai made fun of me for spending more time on other stuff than the actual update. I just thought maybe something more than just where we are what we are doing would be far more entertaining.

7 comments:

Matt said...

Brilliant. Simply brilliant. I saw Ai's name up on a big board thing in the McKay building and was pretty excited. GO AI!!

Bum said...

What did it say?

Bethany said...

Thanks for sending out your blog address! Matt and I are excited to keep up-to-date on you guys. Here's our address: royalhillarys.blogspot.com

Matt said...

It said her name right up near the top of the list of masters graduates

AnneMarie said...

What a great blog, it reeks of your wit and personality. (and that's a good thing). Thanks for sharing.

AnneMarie said...

oh, this is AnneMarie Johnson Farner, by the by. oops.

Shakirra said...

Bum! I found your blog listed on Kirsten and Jonathan's and I wanted to say hi! I don't think we have talked since before your mission! Your family is beautiful and I was excited to find out that you have a daughter on the way! Good luck, and congratulations on everything!
Love,
Shakirra and Ben